Why do I have to make everyone around me happy?

Is there a reason that I feel like I have to make everyone around me happy? Is there a reason why I feel like I failed when I didn't satisfy a friend, family member, or coworker's needs? These questions always ponders my mind whenever I am trying to satisfy someones needs.

Most of my life I've always tried to satisfied others needs before my own. I've always helped my family and friends needs before focusing on my own needs. I've recently known this when a friend of mine questioned me as to why I help others when I myself need more help than anyone else. I'm not sure myself. All I know is that I should be focusing on myself before anyone else. However, when I don't satisfy the other's needs I feel like I'm low. Perhaps it's because I feel like I have failed them or maybe because I start to think that I useless.

I'd like to move out and be more independent and be successful. I just don't like when people put me down because of not being able to do what they want me to do for them, which I get a lot. It does make me wonder, am I a push over? Do I not want to be a leader? What will become of me if I don't do things that will make me happy?

family

Families aren't all perfect. Some may have minor problems and others may have far greater problems than most. Regardless, each family has their own situation that may involve one or more members in the family to create some complicated situation. The family that I am in have values that are contradicting themselves. They say one thing then do the opposite. It's as if they think that they are always right when giving advice. Sure my parents are older and have experienced more things than I have but, they shouldn't stop me from achieving something that I want.

Throughout my years I have constantly switched motives of what I wanted to do in life as well as what would work best for me. Initially. I wanted to become a teacher but, my parents questioned my knowledge. Then I thought of becoming in the hospitality and management field my parents questioned what I would do with that. Later down the road I knew that I wanted to be in the performing industry as a violinist in an orchestra, but then my parents and siblings gave me doubts in pursuing it. Now I'm lost. Currently I'm working in retail as a sales associate. I do want to stay in the fashion industry and work behind the scenes of the company. The thing thats holding me back is my thoughts of what my family is going to say. I want to leave this city and start a new, but there's always something that holds me back from doing what I want to do the most....my family

First blog of what I am thinking...

There are times when I feel like I've done well and doing well in my life. Then there are times where I feel that I have not done a lot with my life. Now being 31 years of age, I have now know that I have not done nothing with my life. I have wasted time trying to figure out what I'm going to do for work, what I want to be, where I want to live, wondering how I'm going to survive or will I be staying in a city under my parents roof.

I know people often make mistakes and learn from them, but I seem to be failing and messing up constantly. Maybe it's because I feel like I try to make people 'happy' in order to get this satisfaction of having done something for them such as helping out with errands, or doing them a favour. To be honest, I am still unsure of my life and I feel that every time I feel like my life is going to turn around, I end up getting beaten down from something I've done.